Too Independent? Or not enough Baggage?

A friend and I were conversing about the "men" in our lives. She and I are both currently getting over situations where the other half just wasn't ready to be with us. Sounds like some bull? Thats because it is! Straight up. I believe that men know whether or not they are going to be involved with someone for the long term or short, majority of the time they know after a few months-hell if not a few weeks LOL. It has been months now- and while my "situation" and I have gotten to be pretty close, it still does not seem to me that we are heading towards a committed relationship. Now, I am no Beyonce' but I aint no Chubaka either. I am a work in progress- I will cop to that. I am college educated; currently working on my Masters. I have lived on my own for the last 5 years with absoutely no financial support from my parents. I have no children, I have my own car and I work. I have a life and my own hobbies and interests. I know how to cook, I love to read and talk and can converse about a variety of topics. I love to laugh but I can be serious when I need to be. So forgive me for wondering what the hell is the problem? Do i flaunt all of these wonderful things in a potential suitors face? Absolutely.... well sometimes but I wouldnt call it flaunting. I am proud to be an independent woman. I worked my ass off to get good grades and go to college. I've had a job since I was 15 years old. I am glad that I can hold my own. My mama raised me right!

Im just saying. I dont come with any real baggage. Everyone has issues and things but I dont have a crazy baby daddy to worry about. I've never went crazy on an ex and tried to kill him and blow up his car or any of that sillyness. I dont ask men for money or only go after ballers and street dudes. I dont care about why type of car u driving or if u are rocking the latest pair of Jordans. I do have certain expectations in a partner but I believe that they are reasonable and realistic. I want someone that I can grow with and learn from. I want someone who isnt afraid to call me on my shit when I get outta hand ( I do have a bit of a tude LOL but I am cool 98% of the time). I need a man that is a real man. I want someone that I can trust and who isnt around to just get what he can out of me. Does he have to be attractive? Yes!!! And anyone who says otherwise is lying- u have to have some type of physical attraction. Does he have to be rich? NO. As long as he has goals and dreams that he is actively pursing we are all good. He does have to have a job and it wouldnt hurt if he was college educated. He must believe in GOD and be respectful. I dont think Im asking for too much and yes I am flexible but I just dont think that I should have to settle. I just want someone on the same page as me with similar beliefs and values. His character and integrity are much more important to me than if he drives a bently or a cavalier.

I'll end this post to say this. I am sick and tired of men saying they want an independent woman to only feel threatened and insecure about their place in the world and in their relationships because their woman may one up them. Its a new day! Men are trained to believe that their value is attached to their wallet/status/ability to provide; I believe that their is so much to them than that. I guess society as a whole needs to work on their views and beliefs in regards to the roles that men and women are supposed to play. You are not less of a man if ur woman makes more than you, or if she doesnt need you to pay for every meal/date. There is still a need for a man in a woman's life (and not its not just for sexual purposes :)~ ).