Life

Sometimes life just isnt grand. It is what it is. I am a FIRM believer that everything happens for a reason. Whether or not we know what that reason is, shit happens. It is what you do with what happens that determines the next piece of your life. Life's lesson are meant to make you aware of the people and things and situations that you need to avoid, be more cautious around and better equipped to handle. They are not meant to make you closed up, afraid to live, or prevent you from living a happy and fulfilling life. There are times when I like to be completely to myself but sometimes I can get a bit carried away. Everyone has been hurt by people who were supposed to care and love us but you can't let those past heartbreaks keep you from experiencing the joys of good relationships. It is okay to be cautious and somewhat guarded in the future when getting into new relationships ( this includes making new friends) but dont let it keep you from not extending yourself at all. As human beings, we are built to make connections with other human beings. Meeting new people, making new friends and experincing life with others- both the good and the bad things are what we need to do in order to grow and thrive. Our connections and relationships to others are just as important as the air we need to breathe and the food we need to eat. By all means, if things are just not right between you and another person, you do not have to hold on to those negative relationships. If you have given things a chance and really tried to make it better and it still doesnt work then LET IT GO. You dont have to keep trying. It is okay to say no; this isnt for me. Take that experience as a lesson learned and apply it to the next but dont make everyone else pay for something that had absolutely nothing to do with them. REAL FRIENDS PUSH YOU TO BE BETTER!!! Value your friendships/relationships that are good. Respect and honor that bond that you have and do not violate that with foolish things such as disloyalty, jealousy and dishonesty. Most importantly, know that in order to be a true and good friend to someone, YOU MUST BE A TRUE AND GOOD FRIEND TO YOURSELF FIRST!!!
As always, stay with love!
*Awesome*

Which is worse fearing to love or fearing failure?

I got this question from a friend's status on Facebook ( shout out to Vic D.) but it has been an underlying thing to many of my conversations lately. I have so many friends who have been hurt in past relationships that they are afraid of love. I understand that it is always hard to get over having your heart broke, but how do you expect to ever have love if you are afraid to love and/or afraid of failing? Life is all about taking risks and nothing is without consequence.

I think its all about how you handle the outcome of your actions/thoughts/and words. You also have to remind yourself that you can not be accountable for others' actions/thoughts/and words. All you can do is be you- 1,000%, at all times. Love honestly, fully, hard and openly. Give your all and hope for the best. Everyone is not worthy of your love, so use it wisely and discretely. Should someone take advantage of that love and abuse it, then know that there will come a day when they will reap what they've sowed. You have absolutely no control on who you love, or when you will fall in love or how much you will love someone. Take the time to enjoy the feeling and moments and know that not everyone is going to love like you do. It is not possible to always get what you give. The best thing to do is to just love.

Use that past heartache to make better decisions in the future. Don't let the fear to love or the fear of failure keep you from receiving and enjoying the LOVE you deserve!!!!!!!

Stay with love
*Awesome*

Friends... Everyone has them (or so we tend to think).

Boy where do I begin?

What is life without friends? I mean seriously. When I reflect on my life, through all of the good and bad times, I have had at least two friends who were there and apart of those moments. Every awesome party, every good and bad relationship, every day posted on the porch or at the park, was shared with some friend(S). Even the unfortunate events such as the death of a loved one, or problems resulting in having to move away... my friends were there. I am blessed to say that I am still friends with most of my friends from childhood. One of my very close friends has been in my life since the 2nd grade, the other since the 4th. Many of my great and best friends I met in the 6th grade. Even now, as a 1st year grad student I am making friends that I hope to have for the rest of this lifetime. It takes alot to be a friend these days. Being a real and true friend takes work, love, understanding, committment- basically the same energy one puts into a romantic relationship should go into building friendships. I think for the sanity of all everyone should learn to let go of negative friendships. Stop trying to be friends with people who are not friends to you. Im not saying you have to be mean and not talk to those people at all. But you dont have to let them be at the forefront of your lives anymore. You dont have to hang out with them, call them whenever you have a problem or even some good news to share. When you see them say hi and keep it moving. Stop wasting time on people who are not investing the same energy into the friendship as you are.

Signs that you need to let go of a friend:

* everytime you talk/see them, they have something mean or negative to say about you/your life, etc.

* you cringe when you see their name on your caller ID

* you only invite them to go out with you or come over when you absolutely cannot find anyone or anything better to do.

* every so often you and the friend fall out and stop talking for months over some dumb stuff

* your friend doesnt believe in boundries. Anything of urs is up for grabs including ur ex, the dude u've been crushing on for years, ur current love, ur fave purse, etc.

* the only time said friend comes around is when he or she needs something from you

* or they've burned so many bridges ur pretty much all they got

If ever you should find yourself bring friends with someone simply because you feel sorry for them>>>>>>> RUN>>>>>>>> far away. Pity is NEVER an acceptable reason to be a friend to someone.

I could go on for days but I think its time to wrap this one up. The bottom line is this: Friends should challenge you for the better. Stop wasting time on those who are not for you.

Stay with Love
*Awesome

GO CAVS!

New Shit Im Feeling

This first video def has my vote for video of the year. Shout out to CLEVELAND's OWN KID CUDI.. Mr. West is def in the building with this one. Enjoy!


KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.






Wonderland by Ms. Brown


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KII2ZlWUimU

Electric Feel by MGMT ( mad I could'nt get an embedded version)




So Good by Electrik Red



Chasing Pavements by Adele



more to come ppl... stay tuned!

A Moment of Clarity

I was on my other love (Facebook) and came across a note posted by a friend. Here's what it said:

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

~Author Unknown

This quote here, is what I like to refer as a timeless pearl of wisdom. It sums up every single encounter you have ever had with another human being. There have been so many people who have come into ur life- whether for a year in elementary school, every summer at camp, a semester of college, a short ride on the bus... People are constantly coming and going in ur life. I have another quote that a friend texted me that goes very well with this one. It goes, "God places people in your life for a reason. It is up to you who you decide to let stay, who to let go and who to fight for." I think that both of these quotes can help you when you are dealing with the loss of someone special. Its always a sad time when you have to let someone go. I am in the process of letting go someone that was very special to me. I have found myself questioning why this person came into my life in the first place, but that is a question that I may never have an answer too. Lately, I have found myself referring back to the these two quotes to help myself keep it moving. I hope that they will in turn help you too.

~All my love
*Awesome*

25 Questions

Here are 25 questions to ask and answer with ur boyfriend. I dont remember where I originally got these questions, but they are good to know the answers too when you become committed to another person. I believe that this list of question was created to help a couple dig deeper and gain more insight on their views about important components of a relationship. The responses to these questions can make or break a seemingly good thing.

Remember... HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY!!!

1. Kids or no kids?

2. Smoking or no smoking?3. Drinking or no drinking? (Same for drugs)

4. Religious beliefs: Match? Blend? Clash?

5. Who works? Who stays home (especially when the kids come along)?

6. Who wants to live where?

7. Who controls the checkbook?

8. What is his/her personal relationship with his/her family? Too distant? Too close? Too weird? Appropriate to your standards?

9. How are holidays spent? At home? With family? Alone? Vacationing?

10. Windows opened or closed? Heat/AC on or off?

11. What side of the bed must you (he/she) sleep on?

12. Where to spend vacations? Leisure time?

13. Sick: Left alone or babied?

14. Appropriate gift giving: birthdays? Yuletide holidays? Special occasions?

15. Who does what around the house?

16. What is acceptable hygiene?

17. What are his/her hobbies, pastimes?

18. Preferences: Music? Movie? Book favorites?

19. Favorite foods?

20. Pets or no pets? What kind?

21. Decisions about the children: School, church, discipline, allowance, extra curricular activities, friends, and curfew?

22. Mealtimes: Early or late?

23. Furniture: Vintage or Contemporary?

24. Sleeping habits: Four hours or eight?

25. How does your new love handle a crisis? Behave in public places? Treat your friends and family?

*picture curtesy http://www.bet.com/Assets/BET/Published/image/jpeg/82798225-3427-71a7-db31-4bdb194a9029-life_fb_Sexy7_WillSmith_JadaSmith.jpg

Too Independpent Part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgSpRUXH3jc


I have a theory as to why some men tend to stay away from Ms. Independent. I truly believe that it is all about control. Men need to feel that they are in charge and that they are the boss of the household/relationship. They love to be the one "in control" of things. It is a womans' job to let her man think he is running everything, though we all know that it is the woman who truly runs the ship.

As we all know, there are those women, who are submissive and allow the man control their every step and/or thought. Those women allow their man to have the only say IN EVERYTHING. Too each its own. Usually, those women are not Ms. Independent but are Ms. Too Damn Dependent. In my opinion, for men in the 18-30 age range, it is all about control. If a female has her own, then he cant control her. She doesnt need his money, his connections, his knowledge on certain "man things" (i.e. oil changes), or his ability to program all electronics to work with the push of one button.

Ms. Independent is able to handle things on her and can fend for herself. Having her own house and car means she can leave when she wants, go home when she wants, have company when she wants... She's free. Now, I am aware that there is such a thing as being too independent but I think that majority of the women who are independent are rightfully so. They've worked hard to acquire the things they have so why should they be punished by men chosing not to pursue or entertain them for that. I think their are alot of men who equate an independent woman with having too much of an opinion, or being too smart to get over on and that is why they go for those who are more "needy".

Again, these are just my thoughts and opinions- please feel free to agree or disagree. Either way, let me know what's good.

Too Independent? Or not enough Baggage?

A friend and I were conversing about the "men" in our lives. She and I are both currently getting over situations where the other half just wasn't ready to be with us. Sounds like some bull? Thats because it is! Straight up. I believe that men know whether or not they are going to be involved with someone for the long term or short, majority of the time they know after a few months-hell if not a few weeks LOL. It has been months now- and while my "situation" and I have gotten to be pretty close, it still does not seem to me that we are heading towards a committed relationship. Now, I am no Beyonce' but I aint no Chubaka either. I am a work in progress- I will cop to that. I am college educated; currently working on my Masters. I have lived on my own for the last 5 years with absoutely no financial support from my parents. I have no children, I have my own car and I work. I have a life and my own hobbies and interests. I know how to cook, I love to read and talk and can converse about a variety of topics. I love to laugh but I can be serious when I need to be. So forgive me for wondering what the hell is the problem? Do i flaunt all of these wonderful things in a potential suitors face? Absolutely.... well sometimes but I wouldnt call it flaunting. I am proud to be an independent woman. I worked my ass off to get good grades and go to college. I've had a job since I was 15 years old. I am glad that I can hold my own. My mama raised me right!

Im just saying. I dont come with any real baggage. Everyone has issues and things but I dont have a crazy baby daddy to worry about. I've never went crazy on an ex and tried to kill him and blow up his car or any of that sillyness. I dont ask men for money or only go after ballers and street dudes. I dont care about why type of car u driving or if u are rocking the latest pair of Jordans. I do have certain expectations in a partner but I believe that they are reasonable and realistic. I want someone that I can grow with and learn from. I want someone who isnt afraid to call me on my shit when I get outta hand ( I do have a bit of a tude LOL but I am cool 98% of the time). I need a man that is a real man. I want someone that I can trust and who isnt around to just get what he can out of me. Does he have to be attractive? Yes!!! And anyone who says otherwise is lying- u have to have some type of physical attraction. Does he have to be rich? NO. As long as he has goals and dreams that he is actively pursing we are all good. He does have to have a job and it wouldnt hurt if he was college educated. He must believe in GOD and be respectful. I dont think Im asking for too much and yes I am flexible but I just dont think that I should have to settle. I just want someone on the same page as me with similar beliefs and values. His character and integrity are much more important to me than if he drives a bently or a cavalier.

I'll end this post to say this. I am sick and tired of men saying they want an independent woman to only feel threatened and insecure about their place in the world and in their relationships because their woman may one up them. Its a new day! Men are trained to believe that their value is attached to their wallet/status/ability to provide; I believe that their is so much to them than that. I guess society as a whole needs to work on their views and beliefs in regards to the roles that men and women are supposed to play. You are not less of a man if ur woman makes more than you, or if she doesnt need you to pay for every meal/date. There is still a need for a man in a woman's life (and not its not just for sexual purposes :)~ ).

Inspiration is everywhere

Self explanatory right?!! Saw this over at DCtoBC- check em out... www.dctobc.com

A love letter...

Dear *you*,

I've come to realize a few things about our situation. The first being that you are your own worst enemy. Until you can recognize that things will not get any better until you change- nothing will be right in your world. It all starts with YOU!!!!! If you continue to be as you are and do the things that you always do, you will continually end up with the same results each and every single time. Its 2009- a time for CHANGE. Second, it has become quite clear to me that if you do not want to be with me by now- you do not want to be with me period. We have been at this thing here for almost 6 months now. I am ashamed that I have allowed this game go on for this long. It seems that you want all of the perks and benefits of a relationship without the committment and that shit is DEAD to me. I've had enough. So please remove yourself from my world. I am better off alone then apart of this soul draining circle we seem to be in right now.

Now do not get it twisted. I am not upset with you. I do not hate you. I have no regrets-in fact, I care very much about you and I wish that we could be together. I am just tired. Plain and simple, it is now time for me to LET IT GO and move on. You were a very special person in my life and I will always cherish the moments we had. I am glad that we had the chance to get to know one another and share so many wonderful moments together. It saddens me to see all of the potential that was there for us to have something great going to waste. I guess this is just not our time. Maybe, we've completed our couse. Who knows what the future holds for us, but for now this is my goodbye and farewell.

I Will Always Have Love For You!

*Awesome*

** Currenly Listening To:

Did You Ever Love Me- by Deborah Cox

Heartfelt conversations we had every single night,

lying in bed together,

So why would there ever be a breakdown in communication,

And I'm just wondering was that the warm and fuzzy feeling

Those good old days seem like so long ago

I thought you cared about me then, but now I don't know

Was there ever really love at all in your heart

Was there ever really love at all

Did you ever love me

I wanna go back, way back to the beginning when we could rely on each other

Oh, I felt like a goddess floating on a cloud. why'd you have to bring me down

With all this pain and disappointment, confused and bitter, brokenhearted With all the mysteries and my love memories

Those good old days seem like so long ago I thought you cared about me then,

but now I don't know

Was there ever really love at all in your heart

Was there ever really love at all

Did you ever love me

I painted this perfect picture of you and me in my head

I sacrificed my mind, body, and soul

you showed me you didn't care

Now did you ever stop and think about how you made my life a living hell

It's so hard believing that you would treat me like this

Now I'm questioning over and over

Did you ever love me? did you ever love me? Tell me baby, baby, baby, baby

Was there, was there ever really love?

Was there ever love at all?

Did you ever love me?

I need an answer cause once this problem's solved I can finally resolve and get over you

I need an answer cause once this problem's solved I can move on, oh yes Did you ever love me?

(pic curtesty of http://www.moistworks.com/images/art_heartbreak.jpg)